The story of Chad Logan and Brad Logan

Updated: Sep 29, 2020

You know how I’m a runner but don’t really like to talk about it much? Like I definitely don’t mention it at every opportunity or say things like “ooh my shins” every five seconds. Well, there’s another thing I don’t like to talk about much… these two boys:

That one on the left with the brown hair is Chad Logan. The ginger on the right is Brad Logan. They are literally my pride and joy as well as the main cause of my grey hair and constant feeling of worry so that’s nice.


Now some may think I’m a bit quirky and alternative and I don’t always conform to the same standards or rules as others (actually I love a good rule as it happens and I’m a big fan of following the rules generally) but I haven’t actually legally named my children Chad Logan and Brad Logan because frankly that would be mean and a bit weird.


It all began back in 2011… *insert wibbly dream music here*


There I was, pregnant with my first child, vomiting 24/7, living the dream. We had a lovely girl's name all ready to go. Violet after Mr D’s amazing nan, because I love the colour, it’s the name of my favourite song and I just like it as a name. I wanted Jessie or Essie as a middle name after my Grandma but we were still under negotiations on that bit. Suddenly it occurred to me that on the off chance I had a boy we should probably think of a boy’s name too. You know, just in case. Probably wouldn’t need it though .


Now boy names are so much harder. There are lots of pretty but sensible girls names but boys names are all a bit pants. Like their shoe options. Boring. We went through all kinds of names but couldn’t find one that we both liked so I turned to the only sensible source of help available. The internet. What could possibly go wrong?


I found an American website that was super jazzy and had all kinds of flashing adverts and lettering and gifs and lord knows what else going on. The idea was to type in your surname and the number of names you wanted to precede it so if you just wanted a first name that was cool but you could have up to 5 middle names which feels a bit excessive.


So I typed in ‘Dennett’, selected first and middle name and clicked the generate button. It had a little think and then ta-dah! There it was! The best name to go with Dennett was…

"CHAD LOGAN"

Amazing. I couldn’t stop laughing! Thinking about it now I don’t know why, it's not that hilarious. I guess I’ve used the name so much in the past 9 years it’s not funny anymore but at the time, giddy on bleach fumes from vomiting in the toilet for the millionth time that day it was the funniest name I’d ever heard. So from then on, that’s what we used when referring to the baby. You know some people refer to their foetus as ‘Bump’ or ‘Bean’ or some other cute thing? We didn’t, it was called Chad Logan.


So then came the 20 week scan and because I was so impatient to have it confirmed that my beautiful ginger haired girl baby Violet was in fact a girl we had to find out the gender of Chad Logan. I also wanted it confirmed so that I didn’t actually have to seriously think about a real boys name for Chad Logan.


‘It’s a boy!’ the sonographer cheerfully announced!


Balls.


So then we had to get thinking… I should be clear here that although I did really want Chad Logan to be a ginger girl (he is neither ginger nor a girl) I genuinely was just happy that he was safe and well and doing all the things he should be. Being pregnant is literally the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced. It is such a responsibility, you are the person who is solely responsible for growing this thing and carrying such precious cargo. Also to be honest although I was 32 years old I didn’t really feel old enough to be a mummy yet. 9 years down the line and I still don’t feel old enough but I seem to be winging it ok some days.


Anyway, Chad Logan was quickly approaching the time when he was going to become a real life boy so we had to get out thinking caps on and turn our stupid American websites off. I knew I wanted my Grandpa Cullen’s name in the baby’s name for 2 reasons. My mum (who I seem to mention in every single Self Indulgent Thingamibobber post) is Scottish. I don’t know if it’s a Scottish tradition or our family’s tradition but the eldest child should have their grandmother’s maiden name as their middle name or as one of their middle names. I have my Grandma’s maiden name as one of my middle names, my mum has her grandmother’s maiden name as one of hers and so on. Now I was absolutely down with the trumpets on doing this because I didn’t want to be the one who broke the chain but Mr D wasn’t keen and my mum wasn’t bothered either. Rather than use Cullen as a middle name we went for Thomson which was my Grandpa’s first name. Actually that’s not strictly true, his first name was actually Thomas (Thomas Thomson Cullen) but he went by Thomson so it made more sense than using Thomas. Also our cat is called Thomas (The Cat Engine) so that kind of put a stop to using Thomas. My Grandpa was one of the best men that ever did live so I had to honour him somehow, I wish he had still been around to meet these two scallywags, he would have liked them quite a lot. Also, in case there is an afterlife and my Grandma is still watching (because she certainly will be watching and judging if there is) I figured she would be cool about me breaking the chain this way. Phew…there are a lot of people to please when naming a child.


So there was still no first name for poor Chad Logan Thomson Dennett and time was marching on even though it didn’t feel like it with my head in the toilet. Did I mention that I had horrendous morning (or all time of the day) sickness for 6 months? No, I didn’t think I’d mentioned it. Between us, Mr D and I couldn’t think of anything we both liked and I was still kind of hoping that the sonographer had been wrong so didn’t think too hard.


We both agreed on one thing at least, that it had to be a good sensible name… apart from the brief period of time where Mr D wanted to call him Thunder. I really like the name Ben but Ben Dennett sounds ridiculous then there were the hilarious suggestions such as Dennis or Gordon. Incidentally my brother’s middle name is Gordon. Ha. My mum came up with some Scottish suggestions such as Angus or Hamish (and she was serious) but finally Mr D and I settled on James. There’s a family link to James on his side (it’s his middle name) and it’s the kind of name where you could imagine him growing up to be a lawyer, a newsreader, a bin man or a ballet dancer and it would work ok. I can’t actually see him growing up to be any of those things but anyway. I liked the fact too that people expected us to choose unusual or alternative names but we went super normal.

So James Thomson Dennett it is and it suits him down to the ground. A fine name for a mostly fine boy.


I had underestimated quite how obsessed and ready to share his every moment with the world I would be and as I had referred to him on the Facebook before he was born as Chad Logan it kind of stuck as his social media name. If I talked about him to people I would sometimes refer to him as Chad and my brother started off calling him Chad most of the time but when I talked to him I would always call him by his real name because I didn't want to totally confuse the kid.


So fast forward 4 years or so and there I was with my head down the lav again. Pregnancy number 2 had arrived, the one where I would give birth to my beautiful ginger haired baby girl called Violet, right? Absolutely no need to think of any boys name. Why would I? This one was obviously a girl. Everyone in our family had had one of each at least so there was no reason why we would be any different. Definitely no need to even entertain the idea we would require a boy's name.


Then boom, 20 week scan and those words “it’s a boy”.


Now before I go any further, you need to know that I know I am incredibly lucky to have had 2 healthy pregnancies (apart from the vomfest) and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t feel like the luckiest mummy alive (even on the really crappy days). There are so many people out there who have lost children or desperately want them and are unable to but the panic that set in that a) we would have to come up with another boys name and; b) I was never going to have my beautiful girl that I had always dreamed of was unreal and I cried. Like really really cried. I feel quite ashamed admitting that knowing how fortunate I am but I know I’m not the only one that has felt like this and gender disappointment is a real thing. You think I'm awful now, don't you?

We had taken Chad Logan with us to the 20 week scan so he could see his baby sibling and through my selfish tears I saw his little face. I saw how completely over the moon he was that he was getting a little brother (although I think he would have been happy either way) and it just made it all ok. I mean it was ok really, I was being ridiculous and had no right to feel like that but still. Knowing that my best thing in the world was so happy put a stop to my unnecessary emotion.


But we still had the name issue and then to make it worse it needed to be a name that went with James. What a palaver.


Again we picked the middle name first and went with Charles which was Mr D’s Grandad’s name (Violet’s husband). I never met him, he died very suddenly when Mr D was a little boy in the 1970s (yeah he’s REALLY old) but we knew that if we couldn’t use Violet his nan would have been over the moon for us to use her beloved Charles’ name for her second great grandson (she had sadly passed away by this point).


The first name was much harder… obviously Thunder, Dennis and Gordon were still ruled out so it came down to Jack, Alex or William. Jack is a great name but the concern was it was too like James. We couldn’t agree on Alex because I wanted him to be Alexander but shorten it to Alex but Mr D was all "nah, let’s just call him Alex because otherwise people will call him Alexaaaaaaaaaander" (obviously they wouldn’t). So basically we were left with William so that's what we went with.


William Charles Dennett is also a fine name for another mostly fine boy. I also kind of like the idea that when they are old people can call them Jim and Bill.


The invention of William's social media name, Brad Logan, was much easier than Chad Logan. Basically Brad rhymes with Chad. It’s that simple. Very little thought went into it!


So that is the story of how Chad Logan and Brad Logan came to be, clogging up your Facebook and Insta feeds since 2011 and confusing everyone who can't work out who Chad, Brad, James, William are. Some people think I have 4 children, others just think I'm a bit odd and actually named my children Chad and Brad.


I should add that while I would still love to have had a little girl being a mum of boys absolutely rocks and I wouldn’t change those two idiots even if I could. Brad Logan more than made up for being a stinky boy by being more ginger than I could ever have hoped for anyway which is the best. They also have the best bond and friendship that I just think would be very different if one was a girl.


So here I am destined to live in a house full of poo and bum jokes, winky stretching, general wrestling, peeing on the toilet seat, moaning about getting hit / kicked / punched in the nuts and unfortunately not a single ballet lesson. I know ballet is for everyone not just girls but despite my best efforts these boys just aren't interested in me living my dreams vicariously through them by becoming ballet dancers.


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