So, here we are in National Lockdown Number 2. In true parenting style, I'm not angry about it, I'm just disappointed. Boom! Ultimate insult.
I can't say life is that different for me at the moment in Lockdown compared to The New Normal. Obviously, the main issue is not being able to go to my most favourite place in the Universe, The Hawk Conservancy, and not being able to see my mum (not necessarily in that order). Hurray for Boris keeping the schools open though to keep a bit of normality and prevent those poor children from having to endure the pain that is our home-schooling again.
I have just started a new job, which you will be well aware of if you are friends with me on Facebook, follow me on Instagram or connected with me on Linked In. In true me style I cannot stop banging on about it. I do this if I really love something or I really hate something. An example of this is Tess Daly... I have an intense dislike of her. That's a really polite way of explaining how I feel about her. I try not to rant about the rage she infects me with so much now since the whole Caroline Flack thing (I wasn't keen on her either but I feel very sad that she felt she had no other option than to take her own life). I'm sure Tess Daly couldn't care less what I think of her and I wouldn't go around trolling her or anything like that but it has made me think a bit more about what I post on Facebook. What I’m trying to say is, I have been known to rant repeatedly about Daly but I do the same when I love something and oh my do I love my new job? Yes. Yes, I do.
Anyway, I've gone off at a tangent there. My point was that I have started a new job and, due to "the situation", I am obviously working at home. So, much as I love my children I don't need them there during the day requiring my below-par teaching skills while I’m trying to learn about a new industry. Also, as my mum likes to point out a lot, we have a ridiculously small house that's full of stuff. Lockdown with us all here, all the time is fine when it's not freezing and wet because we can live in the garden (see previous post), but I don't fancy our chances now it's too cold to spend all day outside. In summary, thank you for keeping the schools open whoever it was that made that decision. I am assuming that it was someone who has kids themselves.
So, in my little rainbow bubble of me and these boys, not much has changed, but if you look at the outside world it has. Shops being shut, the roads being quieter (although not that much quieter, where are you all going?) and people wearing masks everywhere. I think the mask thing is interesting. Until recently, some people considered it rude or aggressive or like you had something to hide if you covered your face in public but now, we're all at it. I wonder whether Islamic women, youngsters in hoodies and bank robbers are now feeling smug or a bit put out that we're all covering our faces now? Just so everyone is clear, I am in no way grouping Islamic women together with bank robbers or naughty teenagers. I have absolutely no problem with women wearing the niqab or burqa if that's what they believe in and want to do and I certainly don't think they do it so that they can cause trouble! I think the ins and outs of Islamic dress is a topic for another day and probably another blog not written by me!
Anyway masks... I don't hate them. I quite like that they keep your face warm when it's cold. I like that they cover your double chin (by your double chin I mean my double chin) and the anti-social part of me likes that you can use them to hide from people you don’t want to talk to because people are less likely to recognise you… Although my hair tends to give me away. I do feel for people who have to wear them all the time that they’re at work though. I don’t think I would enjoy that much. I have discovered that much like everyone else who wears glasses, wearing them with a mask is very irritating because of the steaming up issue. Also, I can’t wear earphones while I’m wearing a mask either. It’s like my brain can’t deal with being so shut in. Either that or I breathe through my ears. I think it must be some kind of sensory overload or something. Whatever it is, it doesn’t work for me. No thank you.
Yesterday I had my eyes tested and obviously had to wear a mask for the whole thing. That was odd. I always find eye tests a bit claustrophobic anyway. You have all these machines right up in your grill, they’re puffing air in your eye, shining lights at you, the works. It’s all a bit much. With a mask on it’s even worse. Then you get to the bit where they put those weird pretend glasses on you and slide different lenses in and out. You have to look at the screen and tell them if it’s clearer with or without all the different choices they give you. I hate that bit. I am naturally a reflector which is basically a polite way of saying a bit slow. I’m not very good at making quick decisions and I like to consider all options before I commit to things. So, when there’s some stranger demanding to know whether the green or the red is clearer and whether I can read the third line better “Now or now”, I feel all under pressure! Add a mask into the mix and it’s all a bit overwhelming!
Who’s to say they are even changing the lenses? It all looks the same! I really struggled not to just stand up shouting “I DON’T KNOW! I JUST DON’T KNOW! STOP ASKING ME SO MANY QUESTIONS!”. The optician was a nice older gentleman, I think he might have been a bit scared if I’d done that. Also, he said my hair looked like a Bird of Paradise so it would have been really rude to shout at him.
Then came the bit where I had to try on frames. Now, I have enough trouble doing this normally. It takes me forever to try on basically every frame they have just to choose the first ones I tried on and that’s when I can see my whole face. Doing it when you can only see half your face makes it twice as hard. Obviously, I did what I always do and got the first pair I tried on after trying all the others. What I was looking for were some outrageously bright frames in the style of Prue Leith but I don’t think she gets her glasses from Vision Express in Tesco. The nice man who served me said the ones I chose are very sophisticated which has made me think I’ve chosen the wrong ones! Sophisticated isn’t really the look I go for and certainly isn’t the look I pull off. Maybe I can wear them ironically.
So once they arrive we will be able to see if they look ok with all of my face. If not, I’ll be wearing a mask more often. Might have to just attach it to the glasses and be done with it. Or, if the new job doesn’t work out, I could take up a new career as a bespectacled bank robber. I’d never get caught then, the Police would be looking for someone sophisticated!